Joella's Now On Twitter!

Yes yes yes it's been a minute, but I'm semi back! I'm a busy girl! But you can check me out on twitter!!! lemme know what you thinkin!!! www.twitter.com/itsjoella

Tomorrow Never Came

Here's a sneak peek to my album with my song Tomorrow Never Came.

Let me know whatcha think!

Bitchassness!

QUE! QUE! QUE! Now I waited after about three more viewings to talk about this boy so I can give a good analysis. Now I am in no way excusing his recent behavior, but I am offering explanations as to why he is feeling and acting the way he is.

At the beginning of the season Que kept feeling as though his opinions were not being valued. He felt that no one wanted Day26 to be more than just a normal R&B group, and that no one else in the group was compromising on trying to decide just what Day26 was, especially for this new album. His point is completely valid. New things are becoming the "it" thing to do, such as the rock/pop combo.

I agree with him in the sense that I think R&B music is beginning to encompass various types of music styles and so he believes that they should be moving along with this growing definition. However, other group members want to resort to the regular R&B. So Que feels as though no one is valuing his opinion and when Diddy came and thought the joint he picked out was hot, he really felt like see why can't yall listen to me.

Additionally, Willie would press his buttons simply because when Will said something, it seemed to be of importance to the group, but if Que said something, it didn't mean anything and Willie didn't care, and it seemed like no one else did either.

Then, Que gets in a fight that he supposedly wins but yet they steal all of his stuff. But his brothers didn't really seem to support him through that.

Then to top that off, Que's mom comes in and basically sides with the rest of his group members who all already cast him off as being crazy, and she says his problem is that he doesn't want to listen. But the problem with that is that as her son, she should understand that Que is a little more sensitive that the average guy, so for her to do that in front of the other group members, made him feel like no one was in his corner.

So when you combine all of this, among others, it makes sense why he's been acting all irrational. There's all these things on his mind and as the youngest he feels like everyone is lecturing him as well as outcasting him. So with all these things weighing on him, it's no wonder why he keeps acting the way he is. It's too much and it's messing with him making rational and practical decisions.

Diddy should have picked up on this alot sooner, but now Que is going to possibly have to suffer because these issues weren't ironed out before they got this bad. Poor Que.

We Need Different

Two words. Keri Hilson. Honestly when she first came out I was like who is this chick?? But she's honestly in her own league. She's an excellent writer, and her vocal range is pretty sick, if you don't believe me, listen to the adlibs on her song "Make Love." I need another listen of the album to truly make a real judgment but so far so good. Although I don't like all of the songs, I did like the fact that each song was pretty different.

No one can say she's trying to take Beyonce's spot in the sense that she is not only in the Pop/R&B lane, but includes techno, experimental, etc. because she definitely is a story teller. And that's something we need more of. Keri can definitely paint a good picture or action or feeling in her songs and that's extremely important as an artist, although some artists just get by because of their looks. But Keri was honestly blessed with it all.

Honestly when I think of my own competition for when I become more famous, I think about Keri Hilson. She is doing what I want to do. Luckily however, we have two completely different looks and two completely different sounds. So I definitely look forward to working with her in the future. So go cop the album. And here's "Make Love"

My First Music Video (cut)

Here's a cut of my first music video guys! Let me know what you think!

Flying Cars

Uhm so there's this car they're working on. And yeah they want it to fly too. Apparently the max time it's been in flight is 30 seconds and traveled over 3,000 feet. I just thought this was something that was pretty interesting. Oh and it's called Terrafugia. Here's a picture.

XBOX Soap

Uhm so apparently there's an XBox 360 Soap bar and no I'm not kidding. What exactly would one need from an XBox 260 Soap bar? Like why is this invention necessary? I mean I guess the same can be asked of other random things but soap?? Like you need it in your life that much that it needs to be a soap? I mean it looks cool/real. Whatever here are the specs.

Soap Ingredients:

· Coconut Oil
· Shea Butter
· Palm Oil
· Castor Oil
· Safflower Oil
· Glycerin (kosher, of vegetable origin)
· Purified Water
· Sodium Hydroxide (saponifying agent)
· Sorbitol (moisturizer)
· Sorbitan Oleate (emulsifier)
· Soy Bean Protein (conditioner)
· Titanium Dioxide (mineral whitener used in opaque soaps)
· Fragrance and color

Love, Sex & Magic

Honestly, I don't care for this song AT ALL. I think it's stupid personally. I don't really know what they were trying to go for with it but here it is if you haven't heard it. Straight garbage if you ask me! It sounds like they tried to do a Janet/Michael Jackson thing and it's just not good at all.

Chris Brown University

So apparently Chris Brown has decided to enroll into college. This is great for so many reasons. I truly believe things happen for a reason and although this domestic abuse thing is still leaving a bad taste in the mouths of the public, I think it's a good move.

Going to college will help him in many ways. For one it will take him out of the public eye slightly and make him start focusing on important things such as getting this degree. He will have to face new and important obstacles that nothing but college can give you. The social stresses combined with the academic stresses are definitely life long experiences and teach you alot. So this will be good for him and I'm glad they've considered this, as most artists don't. It will let his fans see him doing something positive and help with damage control as well. So good job Chris!

Lets Go to Church

So today is the first time in a long time where I feel so filled and excited and blessed, and that was because I went to church. My friend has been trying to get me to come with him to this church by our school and I just wasn't having it. Waking up all early and whatnot. But it didn't start until 12 and I realized I had no more excuses.

After the things that have been going on in my life lately, I felt as though I needed some guidance, and where better to go than church?

I don't want to preach to you all, but honestly, when you feel that God is speaking to you, talking to you, sending you signs through your dreams, or even through the actions of your friends (whether they be positive or negative) You need to answer that and go to church.

Now let me say this. I'm not even putting myself out here as a perfect Christian or a perfect person. Because I am neither. I am just a new messenger of the Lord and have accepted my job to help bless and uplift others in the name of Jesus. Now I know people don't blog about this kind of stuff, but I am not people.

I know who wakes me up every morning. I know who makes sure I have heat when it's cold and food when I'm hungry. I know who makes sure my tuition is paid each and every semester. I know who puts me through and stays with me through the obstacles to make me a better person and appreciate his blessings. So it's only right that I give Him the credit he deserves, and the best way to do that is to not only proclaim his name and believe, but to bring others to Him.

SUMMARY OF WHAT I LEARNED IN CHURCH TODAY IN CASE YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT OUT
Today in church we learned three main things. I believe he preached from the gospel of Mark 2:1-6 I believe.

But basically we learned about how Jesus spoke at this house and it was completely packed inside and outside. And basically these men were bringing this paralytic man to him for healing and were not deterred because of the crowd. What they did once they realized they could not get this man into the place the conventional way, they cut open the roof and slowly dropped the paralytic man down into the house to get to Jesus.

So the three things were:
A. You have to be willing to not only pray for yourself and ask for blessings for yourself, but also ask for blessings for others. You have to want for you to get what God has instore for you, but not until someone else get's what God has in store for them. (as opposed to the corporate mentality of "im gunna get mines")
B. You have to not only believe in what he can do, but you have to speak with your actions instead of with your words.
C. You have to be willing to do all of these things no matter how hard it seems or how many obstacles there are.

He gave the example of how when we go to the club and the line is super long, we never let that stop us from getting in. We might try to sneak in from the side, etc. etc. so we need to take that approach not only for ourselves, but also for others. :)

Hope you are filled by this as much as I was!

The Cleveland Show

So Family Guy's Seth Green has created a spin-off of the show for Cleveland which is called The Cleveland Show. Apparently Cleveland gets fed up with where he's living and decides he wants his own friends, sidekicks, and stories. He sets off for California but somehow (which will be seen when the show comes out) ends up back in Virginia and links up with a high school sweetheart.

Now it looks like it should be an interesting show just because Family Guy is hilarious. However, I really do hope that he does not engage in the stereotypical discourse of most shows with all or mostly black casts. One of their neighbors are bears (yeah I don't know either) Looking at pictures, I see a fat black kid (hes way more fat than Chris was and looks like fat Albert) as well as a hoe- prostitute looking teenage daughter. So I'm a little uneasy as to the picture trying to be painted but I guess we'll see when it comes out in the fall of 2009.

Nia Long and Sanaa Lathan are among those lending their voices to this new show. There will also be a guest appearance by Kanye West in 2010 with the character Kenny West who is also a rapper. So overall, I am looking forward to this show in hopes that it will promote a positive image of black people and the black family but we'll see.

Princess Tiana

I think it's not only great, but about time that Disney finally recognizes the importance of a black princess. Apparently her name is Tiana and she will be played by the voice of Anika Noni Rose (from Dream Girls) and her prince looks white. I don't know if he is supposed to be light-skinned, but he definitely does not look black.

On the one hand it promotes inter-racial relationships (although I am not completely gung-ho about those) but I think it's an important concept to put out there so people who are truly color blind don't feel pressure to stay within their own race and can be accepted in society. But inter-racial relationships are another topic that I will be adressing this week.

SNEAK PEEK:

The main issue I have with inter-racial relationships, specifically with Black men and white women is that these women are NOT color blind, and neither are the black men. To chose a white women because she's more submissive and whatnot shows that you see a difference, and therefore are not colorblind, and have a preference. Additionally, the Black men who usually are taken by white women are ones that by the grace of God made it out of not so great situations and or are doing very well and are successful men who have graduated college, possibly grad school etc. and have great jobs. There are not enough of these kinds of men to go around, so it hurts when we "lose" one to a white woman. But I'll elaborate later.


Back to the topic, I think it's slightly insulting not to let Princess Tiana have a black prince. I mean Princess Jasmine had an Arabian prince, so why not? We really need to uplift the black family and show that it does and can exist in America. Having a white prince gives off the sense that black princesses need white princes to truly be a princess and I don't agree with that in the slightest. We already had that with Brandy and Whitney Houstan's version of Cinderella. We don't need another one.
But yeah I really hope this won't be a stereotypical depiction of black women, but an inspiring one that young black children can look to and look like. It's about time.

Beautiful Disaster

So I'm currently working on the album as many of you know. And I've named it Beautiful Disaster.

This album is not only important to me because it's my first album, but because it highlights alot of the things I've been going through prior to and during my father's death. My life has been a crazy emotional roller coaster, however, at the end of the day, God has blessed me so much that although I believe that there have been many disasters in my life as of recent, he's always continued to bless me and carry me through, helping me see the beauty in it all and I hope that you all will too when you hear the album. I'll be putting up a sneak peak probably before the month ends or the very beginning of April so look out for that.

Some song titles include:

He Lifts Me Up
Tomorrow Never Came
I'm Gone
For My Baby

I hope that this album provides as inspiration and hope to those going through each of the various situations I talk about, which range from the way my boyfriend motivates me, to my relationship with and death of my father. So this is an album that EVERYONE can relate to.

I also posted a picture/still from my music video shoot...the rest of them can be seen on my myspace page: myspace.com/joellastill

R.I.P. Dad

Hey guys I know I made a promise but I'm sure I'll be forgiven. My dad died very recently, which is why I have not been blogging. I haven't been in the mood to let people in yet because this really hurt me.

I didn't know my father too well but we did get to see each other sometimes when he found time for me I guess, so our relationship wasn't the best. I had alot of questions, and never really got the truth or any answers at all. But regardless he was my father, and it didn't make the fact that I no longer had one any easier.

So this post is to just still pay my respect to my father, and I truly hope he rests in peace.

Love Always,
Joella

Dru Hill

Not much to report. Apparently they are back together. Here's there song produced by B Cox. I don't really know how I feel about it yet, but here it is.

The Oscars

For those who didn't watch it it would be sad for me to say that you didn't miss much. In fact it would be ignorant. I thought that the Oscars were pretty well done. Of course, as in all shows, there are parts where the audience is not being engaged the right way etc. but overall it was a very creative show. Their ability to combine aspects of various mainstream/ commercial movies, international movies, short films, musicals, etc. was very good and sometimes funny (could have been more funnier moments, but that I believe required everyone to have viewed all of the movies I guess to understand the jokes.

Beyonce's "surprise" performance was interesting. I thought she did pretty well considering the physical nature of her performance, while still being able to blow. She seemed boring kind of but I mean whatever I'm not going to go into detail. I think it was a little OD for her to think "At Last" is a song that she needs to keep singing because it's honestly a bit disrespectful to Etta James. She's still alive for goodness sake. But whatever.

John Legend was really good in his performance as usual. Will Smith was cute in his giving out of the action movies stuff (sound, special effects etc.)

What really touched me was Heath Ledger's family. You could tell that they really loved him, and that the audience really felt for them. I just felt bad but I know that everything is in God's hands so he will help them through. That was a really heartfelt moment of the show.

There were other good moments but I'm not going to go through them. Youtube it lol.

Re-Making The Band

Ok. So I finally watched an episode of Making the Band and I must admit, that I was thoroughly impressed with what's to come for Day 26's new album. I'm extremely excited about these two songs "Stadium Music" and "So Good." As usual, Brian Cox does his thing on the tracks and I really think everyone is going to feel this new sound they are trying to challenge themselves to. So keep looking out for that.

Donnie. Hmph. I just have no real words. The boy is talentless. Honestly. He can play the piano and that's it. He cannot sing, and he's too stiff of a white boy to be able to dance. Diddy CLEARLY only picked him to appeal to the white teeny bopper fans because those fans will definitely buy an album or two and stay loyal to their loverboy fantasy Donnie.

It's clear that not only is Diddy losing faith in Donnie (if he ever really had any), but Donnie is losing faith in Donnie. At the end of the day, Rihanna cannot sing. We all know this, but her hustle is clearly there because she makes sure her name is kept in the media, and she comes out with some pretty hot tracks, I must admit. (whether she is deserving of those tracks is another topic) But when it comes to her hustle, and her drive and want for money, she knows what she's doing. Donnie on the other hand apparently thought fame and everything else was just supposed to come naturally from being signed to Bad Boy.

First of all not only do Bad Boy artists become null and void after an album (or possibly 2), but Donnie cannot sing! Like hello! He has no real stage presence and it's clear he thinks this was all supposed to just come to him. People (although not that many apparently) can see through the bullshit. They can see through the smoke and the fog and the autotune and the airbrushing and realize that that is not you! It's sad that he has to come to this realization on live TV, but clearly this is what he needs to tip the scale that he sees right now.

AND just a Donnie sidebar, i think it was hilarious that people didn't even know who he was!!! Personally I wouldn't either if Diddy didn't leave his ass in the Making the Band episodes, cause he's so not interesting at all. He just looks like a white boy from the corn fields with mad moose.

Now when it comes to Danity Kane, it's another story. I hate aubrey, I've always hated aubrey. She, D-Woods, and others were doing things that were not in the best interest of the group. Granted, I understand they were trying to get that money and Diddy is one bastard when it comes to his artists because I am sure they don't really get anything. However, it began to mess up the dynamics of the group as people began to get side tracked and place the group on the back burner, which upset the other members who felt that they were more dedicated.

So, in that sense it was their fault partially that they were beginning to naturally break up, but it's also Diddy's fault for his poor management skills of his artists. He's a thief. Plain and simple. If he wasn't, all of his other artists would be out right now doing stuff instead of trying to live the rest of their lives trying to pay him back.

Additionally, Diddy FIRED D-Woods and Aubrey. He did. It's on television. Whether it was staged or not, he did it and there's proof. So I really wasn't trying to hear Dawn (who I still like) tell Diddy that they explained to them that he really didn't fire them. Because he did. Therefore once that happens, the contract is over. done. up. finished. void. It does not count and therefore he should not be allowed to sue them for jumping when he said jump back into the group.

If I got fired I would have honestly done the same things and figured out okay, now what? Now where am I going to get the money to feed myself and rest my head? I'm not going to jump back into a rocky situation for the sake of Diddy's ego. Not happening. It was a nice ride, I got screwed, and I learned my lesson.

I think people need to stop criticizing them for not thinking about their fans because yes at the end of the day, their fans made them. But at the same token, fans need to understand that artists are people too. They need to eat. They need to sleep. They need to have dignity (except aubrey clearly). Therefore, I'm sure they would love to get back in the group with one another had the monetary situation not been what it is. And as fans we should understand that at the end of the day, it really is about money- the ability to provide for yourself and family. And I don't think we're being fair about letting them cope with that.

So no, diddy should not have the right to sue them after all the fucked up shit he's done for the sake of TV and publicity and money. He's exploiting them. End of the story.

M O B

That's what I call her lol. M O B! I love this woman. She is the epitome of what a woman should aspire to be. She's smart, dedicated, loving, and the list goes on. When you see Michelle, you think, that is a real person right there. She's so regal and makes me want to do my part.

It just really inspired me to hear that she hosted a Black History Month Celebration in the white house for some elementary students. I love how her and Barack try to make themselves as accessible as possible. We put them on a higher pedistol but they seem to come off of it as much as possible and I think that that is extremely important.

Here's what was reported on Bossip.

Mrs. Obama seemed a bit surprised when the sixth- and seventh-graders from three local schools said yes, they knew slaves helped build the White House, that President Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation upstairs in a bedroom named for him, and that the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and other civil rights leaders met in the building with Presidents John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson to discuss the end of segregation.

“So you guys know your history. That’s a good thing,” she said. “That means your parents and teachers are doing their jobs.”

Mrs. Obama encouraged them to look beyond the names in the history books and to “think about the extraordinary people who live in your own world,” like parents, grandparents and teachers, “all those folks who play important roles in black history and American history every single day.”

She said they will write history’s next chapter and they should work hard every day, always put their best foot forward, even when no one is looking, and support their families at home by making their beds, putting away dishes and cleaning their rooms. “That’s part of the preparation,” said Mrs. Obama, whose daughters, Malia and Sasha, sat in the front row with her mother, Marian Robinson.

The Rebirth

I'm going to keep this short because he isn't even worth being on my blog, but I want to save the rest of you the time, effort, and money of going out and purchasing this horrible album.

This album, called The Rebirth, is just proof that this little person cannot sing. I'm sorry. It's a horrible album. Beep Beep? What are you talking about? That's just something easy to get the people hyped with in the club. Go sit down.

The one song that I do like is called Give Me Your Heart. And it's a real shame because that song is really good. It's clear that he goes in on that song. Let me take that back... It's clear that he ATTEMPTS to go in on that song. By some small chance of luck, the song still came out pretty good because of all the risks he takes, however it shows that there were a lot of risks being made.

He was pretty flat in many of his songs and I really was just turned off by the songs because of it. I guess if you have no sense of what sounds good or bad, then you're fine. But as a musician, it really bothers me that someone like him with no talent, can come out with an album like that and be seen as "a singer."

FYI: He was on American Idol in the beginning seasons (like 2 or 3) and Simon told him he couldn't sing. I agree. He can't. He needs to sit down.

Chrianna

So I really didn't want to talk about this and I felt like I would have to if I came back to the blog, but now that I'm back I guess I might as well throw in my two cents.

Let me start out by saying that I personally do not believe that a man should place his hands on a woman. HOWEVER, with that said, I believe that a man has a right to DEFEND himself against a woman charging at him or physically threatening his life. I also believe that if a woman believes she has the right to really put her hands on a man she should expect that at that point you are no longer a female, you are someone trying to assault him, and therefore there is the POTENTIAL to be jacked up because of their own actions. HOWEVER, men should still try at all times not to put their hands on a woman just because they usually have more strength and could really end up hurting the person they love physically, and emotionally.


Now, Rihanna looks like a chick who talks reckless and says whatever she wants to say. It's clear from her history with her own brothers that she does some pretty crazy things (i.e. hitting her brother over the head with a glass bottle). This kind of behavior calls for some type of repercussions. Rihanna seems like the type who has gotten her way way too many times and Chris Brown just wasn't trying to have it.

However, when I saw the pictures, I thought wow. I couldn't even speak just because I felt like I was backing him up the entire time until I saw pictures and got a full story. But honestly, there is no reason to get to the point where a person is knocked unconscious. There really isn't. And from the pictures it is clear as to how she was knocked unconscious because she suffered from a number of severe blows to the face. That'll do it.

So I am still waiting to hear what this story is but honestly right now I really feel bad for Chris Brown. I really do. His life is pretty much over no matter what, whether he goes to jail or not. He's lost all of his endorsements, and even more fans. I am sure that he is meditating on this and I hope he really does get the help that he needs because domestic violence is very serious. I hope that everyone gives him the opportunity to seek help instead of continuing to beat down on him. If he could take it back, I'm sure he would. I'm sure he's realized how much shit he's in and that whatever the issue was, it sure wasn't worth this. So I really am praying for the both of them as they drive down the road of recovery.

As Americans it's easier to beat up on someone until they feel like nothing, and I hate that about our nation. I think we need to be more caring of each other and understanding of each other when we are down because we've all been down before. So to pretend we haven't and rejoice when someone falls is inhumane in my opinion. We really need to get him the help he needs and support him. That's all I have to say about this.

Back At It

Ok I was gone but now I'm back! Sorry guys. I've been slacking. But once I get uninterested in the gossip of the world I have no reason to really report on anything but that's not a good excuse! So here I am back again and I promise to stay more consistent!!!

So what's going on in my life?

Well I'm working on the album, hopefully will have one or two songs spinning in the Pittsburgh and New York clubs by March/April so do look out for that. I have some pretty interesting songs so I'm excited to work on it and can't wait for you all to hear what I have cooking up. I plan on working with my boy Nick 'The Scholar' Pratt from the collegeboymovement. He has that little southern swag so that should be a sick combination so I'm excited about that. Once there are more details I will fill you all in. But the album will be dropping in May so PLEASE be sure to support and cop it :)

In my personal life, I am now in a relationship. Sorry fellas I'm off the market and probably will be for a while. lol. I feel really good about this one so unless he like murders me or pulls a Chris Brown on me then nothing's going to change. :) He's a sweetheart, forthright, honest, loving, caring, understanding, all of that good stuff and he's black lol. So you know those are hard to find. He's actually responsible for having me back up on this blog right now so you guys need to thank him for getting on my case. He honestly makes me better and ladies you should demand no less than this from your man but we will get to all of that in another post of course! You know I'm good for that kind of talk.

I also cut my hair as you can see in the pic above. It's alot shorter now and I will be cutting it again and am really excited to show the physical changes of what I consider to be the new me. So don't worry, I won't desert you guys again. I'm back and I'm here to stay. Had a couple of things and people try to knock me down, but it's not necessary for me to really get at them. I'm sure God has punished them in his own ways and I'm really glad to know we have a God who can do all things. So I'm going to keep the faith. Look out for the coming blogs in a few minutes and days, as I will be bringing back that heat and controversy that was loved here on the page. Peace and Blessings!

A Kiss

Hey guys so I know I've been bad at keeping up. Actually not really I just haven't had the time. And when I do, and I look for interesting things to put up, I find none. Like who cares about Rihanna keeping a tight leash on Chris Brown because of some British chick? Who cares about what Beyonce and J-Lo are wearing at the Golden Globes? Not me!

Anyway so this past weekend we shot my first music video :) for my song A Kiss. And as soon as I get a copy of it I will definitely be premiering it here on my blog and my myspace page so keep a lookout for updates on when that will be happening!

I had a lot of fun shooting it, but it was definitely exhausting doing two 12 hour days in a row with hardly anything to eat. And parts of the video take place outside in the freezing cold, but I did it for the fans so yall better be grateful! lol jk. But nah it was a lot of fun. I also got to shoot with the guy im talking to, which made the experience one to really remember.

Our chemistry is so great and it was fun to be able to have the chance to capture that in my first music video. So despite what happens in the future, we will have the video to look at and reminisce over. I can't wait for you guys to see all my hard work. And also his too. Looking back, I realize how much he's done for me and how much he really cares about me. He took off a half day of work to come be in the video even though he had maaaad work to get done. And we got to be the couple we are and be all lovey dovey and then get in an argument. That part was hard because we hate arguing with each other :) Ok enough of the sappy shit. LOL

So be sure to stay tuned and look out for the video! And just a reminder of the album dropping in MAY! So be sure to cop it!

How To Keep A Man

Sorry guys crazy day! So here we are.

When you have a good man in your life, you need to cherish him. Let him know that you know he is a good man to you, and that because of his love, kindness, caring thoughts and gestures etc., that you not only want him to stick around but that it will be worth it.

I'm not going to tell you EVERYTHING, because then you'd just be trying to be me (LOL) Nah but seriously there are four main things you should do for your man when he's treating you right.

1. Play your position. Every man loves a female who knows her role. Don't overstep your boundaries, especially when you're just dating and start claiming him, trying to publicize your relationship, etc. before he agrees that it will be ok. Don't try to keep him in check, none of that. (Cause you don't want him keeping you in check) Play your position however, does not mean be submissive and let him say and do whatever. It simply means let your man feel like hes in control. If he wanted to be with another man, he would. You can be a strong woman, and still know your role. Trust me.

2. Show him you appreciate him. Personally in my life, my baby is so good to me. I'm truly blessed. Real talk. He's always there when I need him in crisis, he feeds me, he always makes sure I'm okay, he listens to me and knows what I like etc. Therefore I do the same for him. So an example of appreciation is this: So I know from day 1 that his favorite dish is chicken parm. I don't do that much in the kitchen but I dabble a little. Now although this is pretty risky, I know that he is very understanding of the concept that "its the thought that counts." so what I did was I found a recipe online and surprised him and prepared it for him for lunch one day. Before he even ate it, he was so appreciative of me and what I went through to prepare the meal. And then he ate it and said, and I quote "Bae that was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has done for me :) and it was phenomenal MUAH!!!" So listen to them. And do something thoughtful to show you're a keeper.

2.a. Buy them dinner, take them to the movies, buy them that DVD they kept talking your head off about. Things like this show them you're not trying to just stay for the ride and free gifts, but that you're willing to take part in a relationship where two people are active, instead of one. You like when your man surprises you and takes you out and treats you good, so do that for him too! He likes that too.

3. Sex. We all know men love sex. But so do women so yall need to stop fronting. Its 2009. Get over it. When your man is treating you good, you need to plan a fun, interesting, sensual, sexual experience between you and your man. Get creative. Use fruit (especially ones you know they like)ice, caramel, chocolate syrup, etc. Make it memorable so that sex with another chick won't even be thought of.

Honestly all men are not the same. Some will actually wait a month or so to go there with you. So if you find that one that's patient enough to do that with you, then he deserves it and so do you. HOWEVER. DO NOT sleep with him the first day and expect him to treat you like the queen you think you are. It's not happening (for the most part) You have to honestly give it time, so that when it does happen, it is so worth it and so good ;)

4. Do NOT act paranoid. Honestly if your man is treating you right, you have no need to be paranoid, because you should feel like you can trust him. But if you're just paranoid in general, you are going to ruin the relationship way before it starts. I have the utmost trust in my boo right now even though we are not together. We care about each other so much that because he's so good to me, he knows that no one else clearly can compare in this world of shitty ass dudes, and thus has no reason to be fearful of me looking elsewhere, and vice versa. I'm good to him and I do things for him other chicks wouldn't, so he knows theres no comparison. Therefore there's no need to check phones, accuse them of talking to other people, etc.

You can avoid even thinking about your man dealing with other chicks by making sure you are treating him the best that you can. If you're doing that, trust me, no other chick has shit on you. And thats REAL TALK. You should feel so confident about your shit, that even if he did talk to someone else or cheat, he feels stupid and realizes there's no comparison.

But questioning him about this stuff is not being a good woman to your man because that's the last thing he wants to hear whether he's doing it or not.

Hope this helps!

The Post You Were Really Waiting For

Ok so I got a nosy ass email about what's going on with me! LOL Nah it's all love. I said I would from the get go so I'm going to keep that promise. So what's going on with Joella?

So currently right now I'm still dating the guy I brought up a few times here. Things are going well. Ok that's an understatement. Things are going great! It's crazy how fast our feelings for each other have grown. So I guess we can say we're past the "dating" stage, but we're not officially together.

We feed off of each other really well. He is honestly probably the best guy I've ever dated. Like I said, he prides himself on being able to take care of the important people in his life, especially women, and I definitely have been seeing the perks of being with a man like that while we've been dealing with each other.

He likes to do for me. He takes me out to lunch pretty often since he works 5 mins from my house, he knows how to listen, he knows the kinds of things women want, i.e. attention, affection etc. He pays attention to everything. For Christmas he bought me Ugg slippers because he knows how much I love/wear Uggs without me having to ever really tell him.

He's also definitely not afraid of showing how much he cares about me in front of his boys which is extremely important ladies! One way to tell if your man, or even the guy you're dating is really feeling you, is to notice his behavior in front of his boys. Is he distant? How does he address you in front of them? Etc. But also know you're role in that situation. Don't immediately try to be all lovey dovey in front of the boys. Act like one of the boys and I'm going to explain why:

1. If you know how to just chill, and not be a high-strung, needy ass chick in this setting, he will definitely appreciate it AND you will probably get to spend more time with him when he's with the boys instead of him ALWAYS having to leave you home so he can go chill with them. He can now probably bring you 2/5-3/5 of the time that he goes to chill with them instead of 0/5 lol.

2. If he is the type of dude to show how he feels about you in front of his boys, he's going to automatically do it without you prompting him to do it. TRUST. Besides, if it's your first time meeting the boys, you don't want to make things awkward and act all couple-y. They want to try to get to know you and figure out what your intentions are with their boy. So let your man initiate that type of interaction.


(Disclaimer: Some men (and women too) are honestly just not the PDA (public display of affection) type and won't do it in any setting, so be sure you know that so you don't hold it against him (or her) that they don't act a certain way in front of their closest friends.)

But yeah, I definitely wasn't expecting him to be like that in front of his boys, which definitely tells me he cares about me and it's okay if his boys know. So I'm so loving what we have right now. I can definitely see us growing together and whatnot and will continue to take it day by day.

And what am I doing you ask? Good question. I'll post that either today or tomorrow. It will be called: How To Keep A Man.

Preview: I'll just be talking about the things I personally do for him, which makes our connection stronger. Additionally I'll point out things that women in general should definitely do for their man if they want to keep him, especially if he's treating you right. :) So stay tuned for that!

Black is Beautiful... and Presidential

So it's the new year and I'm like whoa! How have I not put up the most important, most beautiful, most inspiring, most influential family on the Earth on this blog? Crazy me. So the Obama's have officially moved to DC this week after their wonderfully well-deserved vacation in Hawaii.

Sasha and Maliah, two of the cutest kids known to man-kind, have already started school this week. Experts say that the two girls will be able to adjust just fine, which is extremely important. These types of changes (although most don't become President lol) are crucial for children. And the Obama family, one of the few families in my opinion, are very understanding of this. Michele and Barack have said over and over again that their first job consists of being parents. And they hit the nail on the head with these statements, but more importantly, with their actions. Making sure their children are secure and well-adapted enough to make this transition as their every move is being watched. These two children are pretty smart, but they are the offspring of Michele and Barack so nothing less would be expected.

I seriously hope that everyone really watches this family. They've done so much. They have not only restored faith in the Black family and how strong it can be, but they've been able to help rid of stereotypical behaviors. They have also been able to show other nations that Americans are not just selfish people, and that we do genuinely care about other people. We could not have elected a better president for this day and age.

His campaign was the best campaign probably ever. He genuinely cared about everyone and definitely was able to show that (clearly because he won.) Even after the win, he continued to show everyone he cared. I.E. taking his family to do community service, as well as having people host meetings around the country to talk about the things that they would like to see changed, or what they are concerned about. Like seriously. What president ever gave a damn about what the average American wanted? That's unheard of. And this is why this man is extremely important in American history.

I can't wait until our grand-kids and great-grand-kids are here and in their history books is Barack Obama. The Black president, not that long after the realistic ending of slavery. There are no more excuses now! 2009 Will be a hard year, as we try to cope with this recession, but now that Barack is in charge, I think we will do better.

Black is Beautiful. :)

CarCoon or Coontoon?

Yes you read right. Carcoon or Coontoon = Cartoon+Coon. Apparently Soulja Boy has a cartoon coming out in November. It's about a teenage rap star who also is attending high school, so I guess we'll be watching how he copes with the pressures of having to juggle both.

I'm anxious to see the ignorance that will unfold in this cartoon. I seriously am. And I want to know the target audience for this nonsense.

Let's be real. Like really real. The only reason that Soulja Boy is getting all the play he gets is because he's marketable to the younger generations. If he were older, there would be no way that anything he rapped, danced, said, would be paid attention to. He's marketable and that's that. People are trying to make money at the end of the day, thus, they only see him as dollar signs, not talent. And it's a shame that those who actually do have talent don't get the time of day like this character does. SMH.

Hip Hop Musical

So apparently Kanye is secretly planning a play where the actors will rap their lines. This should be pretty interesting because it will definitely get young Black people to the theatre and that is important. Black people these days don't understand the importance of being well-rounded. They just think going to the mall, sitting on the block, going to work and partying in their cities are all they need to worry about. We have to do better people. Seriously. We have a Black President now and that should push you to want to do AND see more.

So get out to the theatre. It's not gay, at all. Being able to watch people who can make you feel like you're somewhere else, like a movie does, as you watch their lives unfold, and being able to do it in 2 hours, over and over again for various audiences, is a big deal. That takes a lot of work. I actually just saw a show called "Home." It was really good. So please get out to the theatre and open your mind.

Hopefully Kanye will help you all to do this. This sounds interesting to keep a look out for when it comes out.

Onmyradio

This is a hot album I must admit. I was put on to this album by a very important person in my life and I really think Musiq really hit the nail on the head. If you've ever been in love please check out "Someone." I feel like every man and woman is looking for the person he describes to the T. His words are so filling and make you feel like he knows you personally and is singing about your situation.

I personally feel like that song applies in my life right now because I think I found that Someone who will put up with the things loving me can bring and all the strange and complicated things. So check that out.

Another song is Love of my Life. It's a really deep song. Dear John is one of my favorites. It's really sad but the piano in it makes it sound so beautiful so I love that track. So please please please check out this album. He's really speaking about love the way most people feel but just can't explain and put into words.

PSA

Please go get tested everyone! Theres a bunch of free clinics in every state so look them up online and go get tested! Start the year off right! Knowing is sexy, so go find out for the new year!