A Kiss

Hey guys so I know I've been bad at keeping up. Actually not really I just haven't had the time. And when I do, and I look for interesting things to put up, I find none. Like who cares about Rihanna keeping a tight leash on Chris Brown because of some British chick? Who cares about what Beyonce and J-Lo are wearing at the Golden Globes? Not me!

Anyway so this past weekend we shot my first music video :) for my song A Kiss. And as soon as I get a copy of it I will definitely be premiering it here on my blog and my myspace page so keep a lookout for updates on when that will be happening!

I had a lot of fun shooting it, but it was definitely exhausting doing two 12 hour days in a row with hardly anything to eat. And parts of the video take place outside in the freezing cold, but I did it for the fans so yall better be grateful! lol jk. But nah it was a lot of fun. I also got to shoot with the guy im talking to, which made the experience one to really remember.

Our chemistry is so great and it was fun to be able to have the chance to capture that in my first music video. So despite what happens in the future, we will have the video to look at and reminisce over. I can't wait for you guys to see all my hard work. And also his too. Looking back, I realize how much he's done for me and how much he really cares about me. He took off a half day of work to come be in the video even though he had maaaad work to get done. And we got to be the couple we are and be all lovey dovey and then get in an argument. That part was hard because we hate arguing with each other :) Ok enough of the sappy shit. LOL

So be sure to stay tuned and look out for the video! And just a reminder of the album dropping in MAY! So be sure to cop it!

How To Keep A Man

Sorry guys crazy day! So here we are.

When you have a good man in your life, you need to cherish him. Let him know that you know he is a good man to you, and that because of his love, kindness, caring thoughts and gestures etc., that you not only want him to stick around but that it will be worth it.

I'm not going to tell you EVERYTHING, because then you'd just be trying to be me (LOL) Nah but seriously there are four main things you should do for your man when he's treating you right.

1. Play your position. Every man loves a female who knows her role. Don't overstep your boundaries, especially when you're just dating and start claiming him, trying to publicize your relationship, etc. before he agrees that it will be ok. Don't try to keep him in check, none of that. (Cause you don't want him keeping you in check) Play your position however, does not mean be submissive and let him say and do whatever. It simply means let your man feel like hes in control. If he wanted to be with another man, he would. You can be a strong woman, and still know your role. Trust me.

2. Show him you appreciate him. Personally in my life, my baby is so good to me. I'm truly blessed. Real talk. He's always there when I need him in crisis, he feeds me, he always makes sure I'm okay, he listens to me and knows what I like etc. Therefore I do the same for him. So an example of appreciation is this: So I know from day 1 that his favorite dish is chicken parm. I don't do that much in the kitchen but I dabble a little. Now although this is pretty risky, I know that he is very understanding of the concept that "its the thought that counts." so what I did was I found a recipe online and surprised him and prepared it for him for lunch one day. Before he even ate it, he was so appreciative of me and what I went through to prepare the meal. And then he ate it and said, and I quote "Bae that was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has done for me :) and it was phenomenal MUAH!!!" So listen to them. And do something thoughtful to show you're a keeper.

2.a. Buy them dinner, take them to the movies, buy them that DVD they kept talking your head off about. Things like this show them you're not trying to just stay for the ride and free gifts, but that you're willing to take part in a relationship where two people are active, instead of one. You like when your man surprises you and takes you out and treats you good, so do that for him too! He likes that too.

3. Sex. We all know men love sex. But so do women so yall need to stop fronting. Its 2009. Get over it. When your man is treating you good, you need to plan a fun, interesting, sensual, sexual experience between you and your man. Get creative. Use fruit (especially ones you know they like)ice, caramel, chocolate syrup, etc. Make it memorable so that sex with another chick won't even be thought of.

Honestly all men are not the same. Some will actually wait a month or so to go there with you. So if you find that one that's patient enough to do that with you, then he deserves it and so do you. HOWEVER. DO NOT sleep with him the first day and expect him to treat you like the queen you think you are. It's not happening (for the most part) You have to honestly give it time, so that when it does happen, it is so worth it and so good ;)

4. Do NOT act paranoid. Honestly if your man is treating you right, you have no need to be paranoid, because you should feel like you can trust him. But if you're just paranoid in general, you are going to ruin the relationship way before it starts. I have the utmost trust in my boo right now even though we are not together. We care about each other so much that because he's so good to me, he knows that no one else clearly can compare in this world of shitty ass dudes, and thus has no reason to be fearful of me looking elsewhere, and vice versa. I'm good to him and I do things for him other chicks wouldn't, so he knows theres no comparison. Therefore there's no need to check phones, accuse them of talking to other people, etc.

You can avoid even thinking about your man dealing with other chicks by making sure you are treating him the best that you can. If you're doing that, trust me, no other chick has shit on you. And thats REAL TALK. You should feel so confident about your shit, that even if he did talk to someone else or cheat, he feels stupid and realizes there's no comparison.

But questioning him about this stuff is not being a good woman to your man because that's the last thing he wants to hear whether he's doing it or not.

Hope this helps!

The Post You Were Really Waiting For

Ok so I got a nosy ass email about what's going on with me! LOL Nah it's all love. I said I would from the get go so I'm going to keep that promise. So what's going on with Joella?

So currently right now I'm still dating the guy I brought up a few times here. Things are going well. Ok that's an understatement. Things are going great! It's crazy how fast our feelings for each other have grown. So I guess we can say we're past the "dating" stage, but we're not officially together.

We feed off of each other really well. He is honestly probably the best guy I've ever dated. Like I said, he prides himself on being able to take care of the important people in his life, especially women, and I definitely have been seeing the perks of being with a man like that while we've been dealing with each other.

He likes to do for me. He takes me out to lunch pretty often since he works 5 mins from my house, he knows how to listen, he knows the kinds of things women want, i.e. attention, affection etc. He pays attention to everything. For Christmas he bought me Ugg slippers because he knows how much I love/wear Uggs without me having to ever really tell him.

He's also definitely not afraid of showing how much he cares about me in front of his boys which is extremely important ladies! One way to tell if your man, or even the guy you're dating is really feeling you, is to notice his behavior in front of his boys. Is he distant? How does he address you in front of them? Etc. But also know you're role in that situation. Don't immediately try to be all lovey dovey in front of the boys. Act like one of the boys and I'm going to explain why:

1. If you know how to just chill, and not be a high-strung, needy ass chick in this setting, he will definitely appreciate it AND you will probably get to spend more time with him when he's with the boys instead of him ALWAYS having to leave you home so he can go chill with them. He can now probably bring you 2/5-3/5 of the time that he goes to chill with them instead of 0/5 lol.

2. If he is the type of dude to show how he feels about you in front of his boys, he's going to automatically do it without you prompting him to do it. TRUST. Besides, if it's your first time meeting the boys, you don't want to make things awkward and act all couple-y. They want to try to get to know you and figure out what your intentions are with their boy. So let your man initiate that type of interaction.


(Disclaimer: Some men (and women too) are honestly just not the PDA (public display of affection) type and won't do it in any setting, so be sure you know that so you don't hold it against him (or her) that they don't act a certain way in front of their closest friends.)

But yeah, I definitely wasn't expecting him to be like that in front of his boys, which definitely tells me he cares about me and it's okay if his boys know. So I'm so loving what we have right now. I can definitely see us growing together and whatnot and will continue to take it day by day.

And what am I doing you ask? Good question. I'll post that either today or tomorrow. It will be called: How To Keep A Man.

Preview: I'll just be talking about the things I personally do for him, which makes our connection stronger. Additionally I'll point out things that women in general should definitely do for their man if they want to keep him, especially if he's treating you right. :) So stay tuned for that!

Black is Beautiful... and Presidential

So it's the new year and I'm like whoa! How have I not put up the most important, most beautiful, most inspiring, most influential family on the Earth on this blog? Crazy me. So the Obama's have officially moved to DC this week after their wonderfully well-deserved vacation in Hawaii.

Sasha and Maliah, two of the cutest kids known to man-kind, have already started school this week. Experts say that the two girls will be able to adjust just fine, which is extremely important. These types of changes (although most don't become President lol) are crucial for children. And the Obama family, one of the few families in my opinion, are very understanding of this. Michele and Barack have said over and over again that their first job consists of being parents. And they hit the nail on the head with these statements, but more importantly, with their actions. Making sure their children are secure and well-adapted enough to make this transition as their every move is being watched. These two children are pretty smart, but they are the offspring of Michele and Barack so nothing less would be expected.

I seriously hope that everyone really watches this family. They've done so much. They have not only restored faith in the Black family and how strong it can be, but they've been able to help rid of stereotypical behaviors. They have also been able to show other nations that Americans are not just selfish people, and that we do genuinely care about other people. We could not have elected a better president for this day and age.

His campaign was the best campaign probably ever. He genuinely cared about everyone and definitely was able to show that (clearly because he won.) Even after the win, he continued to show everyone he cared. I.E. taking his family to do community service, as well as having people host meetings around the country to talk about the things that they would like to see changed, or what they are concerned about. Like seriously. What president ever gave a damn about what the average American wanted? That's unheard of. And this is why this man is extremely important in American history.

I can't wait until our grand-kids and great-grand-kids are here and in their history books is Barack Obama. The Black president, not that long after the realistic ending of slavery. There are no more excuses now! 2009 Will be a hard year, as we try to cope with this recession, but now that Barack is in charge, I think we will do better.

Black is Beautiful. :)

CarCoon or Coontoon?

Yes you read right. Carcoon or Coontoon = Cartoon+Coon. Apparently Soulja Boy has a cartoon coming out in November. It's about a teenage rap star who also is attending high school, so I guess we'll be watching how he copes with the pressures of having to juggle both.

I'm anxious to see the ignorance that will unfold in this cartoon. I seriously am. And I want to know the target audience for this nonsense.

Let's be real. Like really real. The only reason that Soulja Boy is getting all the play he gets is because he's marketable to the younger generations. If he were older, there would be no way that anything he rapped, danced, said, would be paid attention to. He's marketable and that's that. People are trying to make money at the end of the day, thus, they only see him as dollar signs, not talent. And it's a shame that those who actually do have talent don't get the time of day like this character does. SMH.

Hip Hop Musical

So apparently Kanye is secretly planning a play where the actors will rap their lines. This should be pretty interesting because it will definitely get young Black people to the theatre and that is important. Black people these days don't understand the importance of being well-rounded. They just think going to the mall, sitting on the block, going to work and partying in their cities are all they need to worry about. We have to do better people. Seriously. We have a Black President now and that should push you to want to do AND see more.

So get out to the theatre. It's not gay, at all. Being able to watch people who can make you feel like you're somewhere else, like a movie does, as you watch their lives unfold, and being able to do it in 2 hours, over and over again for various audiences, is a big deal. That takes a lot of work. I actually just saw a show called "Home." It was really good. So please get out to the theatre and open your mind.

Hopefully Kanye will help you all to do this. This sounds interesting to keep a look out for when it comes out.

Onmyradio

This is a hot album I must admit. I was put on to this album by a very important person in my life and I really think Musiq really hit the nail on the head. If you've ever been in love please check out "Someone." I feel like every man and woman is looking for the person he describes to the T. His words are so filling and make you feel like he knows you personally and is singing about your situation.

I personally feel like that song applies in my life right now because I think I found that Someone who will put up with the things loving me can bring and all the strange and complicated things. So check that out.

Another song is Love of my Life. It's a really deep song. Dear John is one of my favorites. It's really sad but the piano in it makes it sound so beautiful so I love that track. So please please please check out this album. He's really speaking about love the way most people feel but just can't explain and put into words.

PSA

Please go get tested everyone! Theres a bunch of free clinics in every state so look them up online and go get tested! Start the year off right! Knowing is sexy, so go find out for the new year!