Thursday, January 8, 2009
How To Keep A Man
Sorry guys crazy day! So here we are.
When you have a good man in your life, you need to cherish him. Let him know that you know he is a good man to you, and that because of his love, kindness, caring thoughts and gestures etc., that you not only want him to stick around but that it will be worth it.
I'm not going to tell you EVERYTHING, because then you'd just be trying to be me (LOL) Nah but seriously there are four main things you should do for your man when he's treating you right.
1. Play your position. Every man loves a female who knows her role. Don't overstep your boundaries, especially when you're just dating and start claiming him, trying to publicize your relationship, etc. before he agrees that it will be ok. Don't try to keep him in check, none of that. (Cause you don't want him keeping you in check) Play your position however, does not mean be submissive and let him say and do whatever. It simply means let your man feel like hes in control. If he wanted to be with another man, he would. You can be a strong woman, and still know your role. Trust me.
2. Show him you appreciate him. Personally in my life, my baby is so good to me. I'm truly blessed. Real talk. He's always there when I need him in crisis, he feeds me, he always makes sure I'm okay, he listens to me and knows what I like etc. Therefore I do the same for him. So an example of appreciation is this: So I know from day 1 that his favorite dish is chicken parm. I don't do that much in the kitchen but I dabble a little. Now although this is pretty risky, I know that he is very understanding of the concept that "its the thought that counts." so what I did was I found a recipe online and surprised him and prepared it for him for lunch one day. Before he even ate it, he was so appreciative of me and what I went through to prepare the meal. And then he ate it and said, and I quote "Bae that was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has done for me :) and it was phenomenal MUAH!!!" So listen to them. And do something thoughtful to show you're a keeper.
2.a. Buy them dinner, take them to the movies, buy them that DVD they kept talking your head off about. Things like this show them you're not trying to just stay for the ride and free gifts, but that you're willing to take part in a relationship where two people are active, instead of one. You like when your man surprises you and takes you out and treats you good, so do that for him too! He likes that too.
3. Sex. We all know men love sex. But so do women so yall need to stop fronting. Its 2009. Get over it. When your man is treating you good, you need to plan a fun, interesting, sensual, sexual experience between you and your man. Get creative. Use fruit (especially ones you know they like)ice, caramel, chocolate syrup, etc. Make it memorable so that sex with another chick won't even be thought of.
Honestly all men are not the same. Some will actually wait a month or so to go there with you. So if you find that one that's patient enough to do that with you, then he deserves it and so do you. HOWEVER. DO NOT sleep with him the first day and expect him to treat you like the queen you think you are. It's not happening (for the most part) You have to honestly give it time, so that when it does happen, it is so worth it and so good ;)
4. Do NOT act paranoid. Honestly if your man is treating you right, you have no need to be paranoid, because you should feel like you can trust him. But if you're just paranoid in general, you are going to ruin the relationship way before it starts. I have the utmost trust in my boo right now even though we are not together. We care about each other so much that because he's so good to me, he knows that no one else clearly can compare in this world of shitty ass dudes, and thus has no reason to be fearful of me looking elsewhere, and vice versa. I'm good to him and I do things for him other chicks wouldn't, so he knows theres no comparison. Therefore there's no need to check phones, accuse them of talking to other people, etc.
You can avoid even thinking about your man dealing with other chicks by making sure you are treating him the best that you can. If you're doing that, trust me, no other chick has shit on you. And thats REAL TALK. You should feel so confident about your shit, that even if he did talk to someone else or cheat, he feels stupid and realizes there's no comparison.
But questioning him about this stuff is not being a good woman to your man because that's the last thing he wants to hear whether he's doing it or not.
Hope this helps!